Quotes

EVERY MORNING I SIT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE OVER A TALL GLASS OF WATER SWALLOWING PILLS. (SO MY HANDS WON’T SHAKE) (SO MY HEART WON’T RACE) (SO MY FACE WON’T THAW) (SO MY BLOOD WON’T MOLD) (SO THE VOICES WON’T SCREAM) (SO I DON’T REACH FOR KNIVES) (SO I KEEP OUT OF THE OVEN) (SO I EAT EVERY MORSEL.) (SO THE WINE GOES BITTER) (SO I REMEMBER THE LAUNDRY) (SO I REMEMBER TO CALL) (SO I REMEMBER THE NAME OF EACH PILL) (SO I REMEMBER THE NAME OF EACH SICKNESS) (SO I KEEP MY HANDS INSIDE MY HANDS) (SO THE CITY WON’T RATTLE) (SO I DON’T WEEP ON THE BUS) (SO I DON’T WANDER THE GUARDRAIL) (SO THE FLASHBACKS GO QUIET) (SO THE INSOMNIA SLEEPS) (SO I DON’T JUMP AT CAR HORNS) (SO I DON’T JUMP AT CAT-CALLS) (SO I DON’T JUMP A BRIDGE) (SO I DON’T TWITCH) (SO I DON’T RIOT) (SO I DON’T SLIT A STRANGE MAN’S THROAT).

—JEANANN VERLEE

 

"You look healthy.
And by that I don’t mean you look fat.
I mean your face isn’t grey any more, the circles under your eyes aren’t so dark. Your lips aren’t cracked and dry and your hair isn’t thinning and brittle. I mean you seem more focused when I talk to you, You actually look at me and listen rather than being so unable to stay still or think about anything other than your illness that your eyes dart around the room and you nod manically the whole time I’m speaking. You seem calmer, stiller, quieter. You’re easier to have a joke with and you take things on board much more than you used to.
I mean you laugh now, you’re less serious. There’s life about you, it’s in your eyes and your smile, it’s in the way you speak and even in the way you go about your daily tasks. 
You look healthy. You look happy. It really, really suits you."

 

(Disclaimer: both of these were stolen from the lovely ruby at http://andthenshedisappeared.blogspot.com/) 

Not A Good Day

I spent the weekend up in a college town to spend time with my very best friend, who goes to school up there. Everything was all good on Saturday, but then took a turn for the worst on Sunday, when I woke up and couldn't swallow without immense pain. Every time my clothes touched my skin there was a searing pain, every muscle in my body ached, my head was pounding and I could not get warm. Monday, I woke up, dragged myself to school (it was only 2 class periods) and then came home. My mom got me an appointment for 1:30 and I proceeded to spend two and a half hours there. It was horrible.

My temperature started out at 102.3

Does she have pneumonia? No, her lungs don't sound right and her oxygen levels are fine.
How about strep? No, her tests came back negative.

Let's examine her more-her temp is now 103

When I push on her belly, she complains that it hurts.
Maybe it's a UTI? Here, pee in this cup.

What about the start of Influenza?
We can't test for that here...

Hmmm maybe we should give her some pills.

Alright, go get your blood drawn so we can figure it out.
Your white blood cell counts are fine...
Temp- 99.9

There's nothing more we can do here, so we'll call in the morning with your test results.  Until then, here, take this antibiotic and if you break out in a rash from head to toe, that's a clear sign that it's mono! Have a great day!

I may or may not have cried four times during the two and a half hours.

OH! And the best part? When I stepped onto the doctor's scale, it was 133.5. The highest I think I've ever been. Let. Me. Die.

I'm just really overwhelmed right now. I never do well when I'm sick.
Tomorrow I have a meeting with a lady from one of my top college choices so I'm hoping I at least don't throw up all over her, or start shaking like I'm some sort of freak.

At least I have the next two days of school off. Yay for being a senior.

Hope the rest of y'all are doing better than me.

Love,
Lee