Where Have I Been?

So a few days ago, I got down to 123.6, and then generally just blew it so now I'm back up to 128. Ew.

But, for the most part, I'm okay. I spent all of yesterday in a depressionless-fog. It was great. I feel like I honestly earned my pounds.

Yesterday was a wreck.

I started out by getting ready with my friend NK because we were celebrating her 17th birthday. We picked up A and her cute cousin from Florida, and then chilled back at NK's house because I had asked a friend to drop off some alcohol. He pulled up soon enough and we convinced him to come to the hookah place with us, and then K pulled up too and we all piled into our cars and drove down to Jason's. We shot some pool, at which  I was terrible at, by the way, and bought two different flavors of hookah, and then we dropped off the cousin from Florida and went back to NK's house. We were setting up to drink our delicious alcohol, when K decided we all had to go to Voodoo Doughnuts, which is kind of famous in our town for being fucking delicious, and always has lines out the door and down the block. No arguments there, so we beaner packed her car (sorry) and drove the half hour. Keep in mind, it was like, midnight by now.

We got our doughnuts, sang happy birthday to N rather obnoxiously, and then, on our way back, we pulled up next to this guy N, who I didn't really know, but everyone else did and we invited him back to NK's place.

This is where future Lee, rereading this is going to get confused, because all three boys that ended up at NK's place have the exact same name. Soooo there's Brother N (BN), My N (MN) and Random N (RN). Just clarifying. 

We drank a shit ton, mixing liquors, smoking weed and lighting up cigarettes. By about 2 am, A, NK and K were all super tipsy while RN, MN and I were pretty sober. All in all, we were doing pretty great!

And then NK threw up and passed out. In the middle of her dry heaving into the bushes, her brother, BN came home and was like "what the hell!" but he was on supppppper drugs too, so he basically resigned himself to carrying her up to her bed, where she promptly threw up again. Poor NK. It was her first time drinking, her first cigarette and her second time getting high. It was too much in one night. Did I mention she had to work the next morning? LOL yeah... :(

Everyone crashed on BN's floor, where I realized exactly how drunk I was because I couldn't get to my feet without major help haha.

All in all, it was a freaking great night, one that needs to happen more often... and I actually feel better knowing where each pound came from. That's weird, isn't it?

Whatever.

I need more nights like that one...

Only...let's skip the calories, mkay?

-Lee

Everything will be okay...

Firstly, I wanna thank Elizabeth, Bella and Meg for their kind words on my last post.

Today, I woke up at 125.0, so that was pretty nice.

I still feel really not with it lately, and my sleep has been getting more and more restless.


I don't know what's going on with me.


I'll try to do a longer post tomorrow...


Love y'all
-Lee

Low

So last night, on my way to see a movie with my friend, N, I got into my first car accident. It was horrible and it immediately shot me deep back into my anxiety. I spent all night and all today in bed, wallowing in guilt. I hate myself. I should have been more careful.

An hour ago I finally dragged my pathetic butt out of bed and went to the gym. I burned about 130 calories before people came in, making my net intake about 195. Not great, but hopefully it'll get this weight moving in the right direction. Over my "vacation" I gained 3 pounds, but now I'm back to the weight I was before I left soooo that's good, I guess.

Idk. I feel really off-centered still.

I'm gonna go catch up on blogs and stuff.
Stay safe
-Lee