I'm just a voodoo doll

I sized him up and I shot him a grin
I said, "whatcha gonna do, nick your wrist and call your girlfriend?"
He tried to smile, with tears in his eyes, he said
"It's not a joke man, it's not a joke
Tonight I'm leaving this place, I've got a knife in my car, 
and when I run out of gas, I'll lay into my arm"
-Last Night On Earth by Skyfox

I haven't really posted in awhile. Honestly, I just get so caught up in reading everyone else's blogs and then I get stuck in my own head and when I finally get a second to breathe, it's been a few weeks. Oh well.

Life is going okay. I'm still pretty fat, at 125 lbs. The diet I mentioned did NOT go well, due to my bright idea of having five people sleep over for like, three days straight. But I do notice that my fat is moving around. I used to carry it in my hips, but now they seem smoother and my calves seem thicker. So it goes.

I've been going non-stop for the last few days and not really allowing myself a chance to just chill out. Concerts, friends, sleepovers, drinking, partying, etc etc, and it's honestly all just becoming too much.

My mom leaves tomorrow for a four day business trip, so that means I'll be home alone and hopefully I can get myself down to 120 at least, or maybe into the 110's. We'll see.

One of my best friends honestly really hurt me the other day with something he said and I'm struggling to get over it and not let it get to me, but it still smarts. I miss the way him and I used to be.

School starts in a week. I'm half looking forward to it, and half dreading it. My schedule is a little messy, but I got some good classes with a majority of my friends. I just don't know how often I'll get to see them outside of school. I've got three classes and an internship, but hopefully I can add an extra class so I can spend less time at my internship and more time with friends. You're supposed to enjoy senior year, right?

In two weeks I get to go see my sister, whom I love dearly, and I'm so freaking excited. She lives in Texas, which means I'm going to fly for the first time by myself, which is fucking with my anxiety, but whatever.

Back to reading and commenting!
Hope y'all are doing well
<3 Lee