God it's been awhile

Okay, so yeah. It's been almost an entire month since I last posted on here and I'll be honest, in that month I only lost four pounds. I was so fucking stressed that I was literally on the edge of my sanity. And then came Friday night. Friday night I first find out that one of my best friends was in a car accident. The driver smashed right into her seat and she has a terrible concussion. She's absolutely fine- or so she says. That girl would say she was fine even if she was missing all her limbs. Geez. That kind of reminded me how short life can be and how easily the people we love can be taken from us...And as I was thinking about these things, my dad swings by my mom and I's new house and steals our car. Awesome. So not only does he now know where we live, but we only have one car. My father is the type to show up at our house randomly, so there's that to worry about constantly. Add that on top of my school work and my already occurring anxiety attacks and I'm just a big huge ball of sanity!

Ha ha.
Ha.
Haaa...

Just kidding, I'm fucking about to break. But if nothing else, it's been a kick in the ass. I WANT skinny more than I want to breathe. I really do. December is still my goal for 100 pounds. Tomorrow I begin my super strict exercise/fasting/restricting regime and hopefully by the end of this week I'll be seeing some weight budge.

And my other best friend is coming to live with me soon, hopefully! Well, I mean, I do hope her mom can find a place to live really soon, but it's been so long since I've seen this girl, plus she's super skinny and lord knows my fat ass needs the motivation.

By the time I'm 17 (about two and a half weeks) I wanna see the lower teens. Seriously.

Love you.
Lee