Goals

Peanut butter will be the death of me.

I had celery, apples and raisins today for lunch, with a little cup of peanut butter, and let me tell you, the urge to lick that cup clean was very intense.

I feel like maybe if I fit into my dress in ten days - and it looks good on me- I will absolutely let myself have a small teaspoon of the stuff. Yum.

Speaking of dresses, winter formal is in ten days. Yeah. But since winter formal always sucks at my school, my group of friends and I aren't going. However, we are seniors and we don't want to miss out on any high school experiences because this is our last chance, so we're going to all get dressed up, take pictures, have dinner and then go bowling. I'm so excited.

I'm kind of scared to try on my dress. I haven't put it on since April of last year, and I'm so freaking nervous that I'm going to be huge. Ten days isn't a lot of time.

Nothing like having to put on a dress to make you forget all about recovery, right? Sigh.

I keep telling myself that it will be okay. And I'm trying really hard to believe it. I was talking about winter formal with my friends L and A who were describing what their dresses look like, and when they asked me about mine, I said "Oh geez, I'm gonna wear this dress that I probably have to lose ten pounds to fit into." to which A replied "Sweetie, we didn't ask about about your weight, we asked what your dress looked like..." And I was like oh...Because in my mind how I look in a dress is waaaayyyyy more important than the way the dress looks. It was a nice moment because I kind of realized that my friends are going to love me even if I don't ever lose this weight. They'll even love me if I gain weight. That's....that's just a really nice thing to realize.

I think I'll be okay.

I hope you guys are doing well.
<3 Lee