I'm a failure

Yesterday was incredible.
I started out by performing a play and then afterwards my youth group + C and I were playing improv games and laughing super hard. And then I went out to eat with C's family which I LOVE doing because they're incredible. I came home and cut though because I felt like such a failure. My self-control fucking sucks.

And then right after church, I went and slept over at E's house. She's fucking incredible and I don't ever have to eat anything at her house because she doesn't eat much either. She's so understanding and funny and I just LOVE hanging out with her. She did shrooms while I did shots of vodka and then we both smoked weed out of her little apple bong. She's hilarious. But yeah, we snuck out and walked around at like 2am and then while we were trying to sneak it, we accidentally set the alarm off. But we covered it really really well so I think we're okay.

One thing I admire about E is the fact that she's such a talented writer. She has all these books that she writes in and it's all so honest and I just wanted to spend the entire night reading them because she was so happy that I showed interest. I was all, of course I'm showing interest, you're freaking awesome.

Anyway, today was just a horrible day but tomorrow school starts and I can start fasting all week. YAY! :D

I think my dad totally knows that my mom and I are leaving him because they got into a huge fight and while she was gone (because I encouraged her to go to our friend's party) he went through her stuff and noticed a lot of clothes and things were missing, and he found out about her second job and he stole our birth certificates, my moms credit cards and my passport. I was like shit shit shit shit shit. But it kicked my mom's butt and made her more focused on getting out so that was really good. I think this Wednesday we'll finish up the crawl space and then hopefully the next Monday, we'll move furniture and be done with it. My dad said he'd fix my car this weekend which is great because it means I can start driving to the gym to work out. UGH I'm so fat.
Okay.
Goodnight loves <3
Lee